after the wedding: a new series on marriage


Ten minutes before our wedding started, I found myself on the verge of a panic attack. Our portrait session had been completed with just enough time for me to finish my to-do list. So I quickly slid the last cake into place, re-straightened the chairs and made final adjustments to every detail within reach. Everything for our wedding was completed to the level of perfection I had hoped for, yet with just ten minutes to go before the wedding, I began to panic.sinclair & moore fall shoot 22sinclair & moore fall shoot 13

Before we got married, we didn’t have very many people telling us how awesome marriage was going to be, and what an amazing part of life we were going to experience. Instead, we had people asking us if we were “sure” we wanted to do this. This question was quickly followed with dooming statements like ‘the first year will be the worst’ and ‘marriage is the hardest thing in life.’ I was too busy making Jamie’s wedding dress, designing the flowers and organizing the seating chart to really take all of the discouraging comments to heart… until ten minutes before the ceremony.

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And so I panicked and became overwhelmed. What if marriage was as horrible and difficult as people had described? What if I woke up the next morning to find Jamie waiting with a long list of unattainable expectations and changes? What if she told me I could never eat dessert anymore? What if I couldn’t be a good leader in marriage? What if I realized on our honeymoon I was too selfish to be married? What if I just didn’t like it?

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Luckily for me, I had an amazing best man who prayed with me, and reminded me of how lucky and blessed I was. I pulled myself together and walked towards my ceremony. My panic quickly faded the moment I saw Jamie walking down the aisle towards me, and our wedding day was the best day of my life.

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I learned a few things from our wedding day:

*I learned that no wedding planner should be allowed to plan their own wedding. Actually- wedding planner or not-  I don’t think anyone should do their own wedding. Trust me, you don’t want to be running around the day of your wedding taking care of any details like I was.

*I learned I should have also been planning our marriage while planning the wedding. We did pre-marrital counseling and read some books, but I was certainly more consumed and concerned with the details of the wedding day, and didn’t think too much about the lifetime that would start the morning after.

*I learned that there needs to be more encouragement of healthy marriages. I wish we had received more affirmation from others about how awesome marriage can be. Jamie and I decided it’s time for married people to step it up and be more positive. Marriage should be seen as an adventure rather than a nightmare.

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As we develop this blog, we want this to be so much more than just a place to post beautiful pictures of events and projects we have worked on. So instead of just focusing on weddings, we also want to talk about marriage. Our series “After the Wedding” will be a journal of marriage where we share some of the lessons we’ve learned and things we have discovered to keep our marriage new and exciting. Our hope is that people will love marriage as much as we do, and see it as the gift that it is.

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People who talked to us about marriage before our wedding were right about one thing:  It changes everything. It really does. For us, it changed everything for the better and we couldn’t be happier.

photo credit: Matthew Land Studios

  1. Abi McMurray says:

    Love this! THis is what people need to hear about marriage when all we see around us is divorce and heartache. Marriage is so fun and wonderful! Can’t wait to read more

    • Steven Moore says:

      Thanks Abi, we couldn’t agree more! We are pretty excited to develop this area of the blog and hope it can be an encouragement. Thanks for following along!

  2. JB says:

    THANK YOU for this. So looking forward to it! Not engaged yet, but I, too, am being reminded of the same things consistently. Happy to have a positive voice in the mix 🙂

    • Steven Moore says:

      Thanks JB. We are excited to develop this part of the blog over the months. I think people mean well and just want to make sure engaged people aren’t being naive… I think when that is all you hear it can be scary and leave people wondering if there is any joy in marriage. We’re here to show that there certainly can be! Keep your head up through any discouraging comments knowing that your marriage will be what you choose to make it. Thanks for your comment!

  3. jenae pomaikai says:

    I’m not even close to getting married, but I still appreciated the honesty and love in this post. I think you two are the bees knees!

    • Steven Moore says:

      Thanks Jenae! Hopefully some of these posts will get you excited for the day you do get married, and give you something to look forward to! Marriage is so much fun. Thanks for encouragement!

  4. Rachel {Finch & Thistle} says:

    I couldn’t agree more and am sad to hear that you encountered all that negativity before your wedding. I have been married for 6 years and my marriage is the biggest source of joy, comfort and support in my life. Having lived with my husband for 3 years before we got married, I do think that it takes a while to learn to live with someone and perhaps that is why people warned you that the first year of marriage is so hard. I think this is such a great idea for a series and will be following along!

    • Steven Moore says:

      Thanks for following along Rachel, and for the comment! Congrats on being married 6 years! I’m sure the people who commented to Jamie and I were trying to make sure we knew marriage would be an adjustment- because any major life change like that is. I think we both just wished more people encouraged us about the goof things too. Hard times are inevitable- we knew that- we just wanted to hear what did people love and what was the joy they found in their partnership despite those to-be-expected rough patches. Thanks again for chiming in and your perspective!

  5. Erin - Floret Flower Farm says:

    I love this story and can so relate.
    When we got engaged we were quite young and so many people questioned our decision and warned us about how tough marriage was going to be. It certainly made for a scary start to our life together! I was always waiting for those horror stories to come true. Luckily, the naysayers were wrong.
    Great relationships take a lot of effort but what a worthy thing to invest your energy into!

  6. Dominique says:

    True love! You guys set a beautiful example of what true love is. True love isn’t common but to be the lucky ones who found your true love truly are BLESSED!
    May your lives together remain the same till your last breath…

    • Steven Moore says:

      Thanks Dominique. I feel so blessed to have Jamie as my wife. Having someone to love is such a gift. Thank you for your kind encouragement and words of blessing.

  7. Jody says:

    Thank you guys for doing this! You’re right, the marriage part of the wedding industry is just not given the focus that it needs. So, thanks for taking the time to write about marriage as the gift that it is and be honest about yours!

  8. Sarah says:

    I happily stumbled upon your blog while nursing my sweet 3 week old daughter. Not only are your designs perfection, but your candid sharing of your love for God and value of marriage is refreshing and beautiful. My husband and I have also seen our marriage as a blessed gift and our little family (now 4 kids) is so precious to us! I know what I will now be reading for middle of the night feedings :0) Thank you!!

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